Panic Attack Resource

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Its a [strange|bizarre|odd] thing to [say|state|come out with], but after the [first|initial|original] split second that you [dig|jab|push] that blade into your arm you don’t feel anything. Your body goes into shock and you’re [eventually|ultimately|finally] left with such a [numbness|lack of sensation|deadness] that on a few occasions I was [completely|totally|utterly] out of it. I had no [idea|concept|clue] of time passing or anything going on [around|round|about] me. I must have been [sat|laying|sitting] on the bathroom [floor|tiles|carpet] for [hours|an age|half a day] until [someone|Mum|Dad] came back to the house and it was bliss. It wasn’t always like that.

Sometimes you’d feel the [sting|smart|throb] afterwards as a [constant|relentless|endless] reminder to keep you going through the day. Make the [mundane|ordinary|boring], everyday things [achievable|manageable|do-able].

I did it because I needed to [switch off|disconnect|turn off] from the [intense|painful|traumatic] [feelings|emotions|sensations] in my [head|mind|brain]. My scars [verbalised|articulated|spoke] what I could not [say|put into words|articulate] for a long time; that there was something wrong and that I needed help. It was like I wanted to [scream|yell|cry], but that would be socially unacceptable, so I let my [body|scars|wounds] [scream|yell|cry] for me. It was my [dirty|sordid|filthy] little secret.

Sometimes, when my [parents|family|Mum and Dad] were [arguing|fighting|yelling] and putting me down and I didn’t want them to know it was [affecting|upsetting|hurting] me, I’d slip off to the bathroom and cut, [tidy|clean|wipe] myself up and roll down the sleeves of my [tee shirt|jumper|blouse] and smile inwardly.

They [wanted|tried to force|pushed] me to be everything and I was so afraid of [failure|being a letdown|disappointing them], cutting was a way of making myself fail before I even tried.

I needed so [desperately|urgently|crucially] to address the emotions that brought me to this [awfuldreadful|terrible], lonely place. Self harm is just a coping mechanism, like alcohol or drugs or an eating disorder. It allows you to express the unexpressable. Ultimately, it will leave scars on more than just your body. Please, if you are self harming go to www.winningminds.co.uk.

Anxiety - Questions Asked By Concerned Candidates

Technorati Tags: Bathroom Floor, Bathroom Tiles, Blouse, Body Scars, depression treatments, eating disorder treatments, Everyday Things, Floor Tiles, Half A Day, Jab, Jumper, Mum And Dad, Mum Dad, Numbness, Parents Family, Self Harm, self harm treatments, Sensations, Sting, Tee Shirt, Throb, Time Passing, Yell

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